In Linn (bugshit nowhere) County
90 miles from Portland
my son babbles
on
my wife sings
rain falls
and the odor of
“The Grass Seed Capital of the World”
wafts past my nose
(or is that my
son’s diaper?)
As I reflect on
the last year
the typical worries
crop up:
money, car repairs, and my standing
as father
and husband
Twilight recedes
into night
and we roll on
home.
I hate split
pizzas
half and half
because inevitably her
toppings will drift onto
my toppings
and I’ll have to
pick them
off.
But
if that and
a couple extra loads of dishes
are my only major troubles…
Life
is
good.
1. I, Alex Cross
2. Alex Cross’ Trial
3. The 8th Confession
4. MAX: A Maximum Ride Novel
5. Run For Your Life
6. Watch The Skies
7. Witch & Wizard
8. Swimsuit
9. The Murder of King Tut
10. Maximum Ride The Manga: Volumes 1 and 2
Here it is, because absolutely NObody has been asking! Now this doesn’t necessarily refer to books that were RELEASED this year, but instead it refers to books that I first READ this year. So here goes:
1. Shadow of the Wind
Carlos Ruiz Zafon’s brilliant novel about books, love, and post-Civil War Spain is my favorite book that I’ve read all year and, outside of Fante’s Ask the Dust and Bukowski’s Post Office, the best book I’ve read in the past decade.
2. City of Thieves
David Benioff tells the story of two men who are chosen to go on a wild good chase for eggs in World War II Leningrad (St Petersburg). An excellent companion piece to Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-Five (as both deal with non-American cities under siege in WWII). Surprisingly funny and very touching at times too.
3. Preacher
Garth Ennis teams with Steve Dillon to tell the story of a man obsessed with finding God and making him pay for the suffering of Mankind. A disturbing tale of vengeance and (kinda) redemption. A great graphic novel series.
4. Transmetropolitan
Warren Ellis wrote sixty issues of this brilliant political satire that has been best described to me as “Hunter S. Thompson meets Phillip K. Dick.” The story tells of main character Spider Jerusalem’s attempt to bring down a President.
5. 2001: A Space Odyssey
If you’ve seen the Stanley Kubrick movie, you might be surprised to learn that the film and the book were written simultaneously, but Arthur C Clarke was still editing the book by the time the film hit theaters. If you walked away from the film saying, “What the fuck?” then read the book. It explains just about everything and two of the three sequels (2010 and 2061) are also brilliant hard sci-fi films. Avoid 3001 if possible. Very meh.
6. You’ll Go Blameless
A chapbook of poetry from Salem’s poet, short story writer, collage-ist, etc. etc. A book some 20 years in the making (a long story) and well worth the wait. A great collection of poetry from one of the finest living poets.
7. The Angel’s Game
The prequel to The Shadow of the Wind (and just out this year) is inferior if only because it suffers from being somewhat too similar to the original. Still a great book, it tells the story of characters that come a generation earlier than those in SotW with many of the same themes (love, books, writing, and madness).
8. The Wild Things
Dave Eggers wrote the movie script for Where The Wild Things Are which was based (loosely) upon Maurice Sendak’s picture book. This book, then, is an adaptation of an adaptation. One of the single most depressing books I’ve ever read, it seems to symbolically stand for a childhood turning into adulthood. Touching, but difficult to read (emotionally).
9. Zeitoun
Another Dave Eggers work, this is a biography about a man who stays behind in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina to look after his business, but ends up helping dozens of people and animals. The book quickly devolves into a painful look at post-9/11 hysteria. A very good read!
10. The Convalescent
In this book, Jessica Anthony has echoes of Middlesex (particularly the sweeping family history) and Kafka to produce the strange story of Rovar Pfliegman. It covers almost 2000 years of family history, as well as a very personal look at the tragic life of the main character, Rovar.
A Barnes and Noble Discover Great New Writer’s pick, the book was criminally overlooked and will hopefully do well upon a paperback release.
So there they are. By the end of the year, I’ll actually be able to give a full list of books that were PUBLISHED this year, but this is just a good list of stuff I’ve read this year. Honorable mentions go to the graphic novel series Doom Patrol and Neil Gaiman’s Fragile Things (short stories).
More frightening news than murders, rapes, pillages, wars, famines, and anal leakage combined, Oprah To End Talk Show To Start Her Own Network.
A scant two years from now, Oprah will end her relationship with CBS and form her own network. What this can mean is anyone’s guess, but considering many of her cultists have already given her deity status… It is frightening
After all, how many other people have just one name? I’m not including rock stars (I’m looking your way Sting, Prince, Bono) because rock stars never count. But just think about it. Very few people have just one name.
But look in religious texts: God, Jesus (Christ, sure, but many refer to him by first name only), Mohammad, Moses, Yaweh, etc. etc. etc. I could go on (and continue to misspell holy names) but I’ve got to get to sleep at some point, right?
All kidding aside however, I have never been that bothered by Oprah. There’s a bunch of books that I’ve read that have coincidentally been a part of her Book Club and I think they’re wonderful. I was especially enamored with Middlesex and read it about half a decade before she selected it.
What has always worried me though, if her desire to allow total crazies onto her show. Eckhart Tolle comes to mind first off (and before you get too up in arms, I consider any religious or spiritual person in the public eye to be crazy [and yes this does include atheists]).
Which brings me to my next point: religion!
I’m not a religious person. I’m quite an atheist (though I can’t always spell it correctly), but I’m always quite nervous to label myself as such because mainstream atheists are complete and total assbags. Think for a moment about Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, Joseph Stalin, Vladamir Lenin, Mao Zedong… what do all these people have in common? Atheism!
But more importantly? Insane douche-baggery! I saw Hitchens on talk shows a couple years back and ho-lee shit! I’ve wanted to jump through my TV and hit people before, but this guy… man! Atheism already has enough trouble without you fucking it up!
The true irony of atheists in the spotlight is that they try their best to reject the pugnacious and extremist views of many religious groups and figures, but in turn are just as extreme in their viewpoints.
When it comes down to it… a lot of deaths and wars have been caused and fought over religion, certainly. But that doesn’t mean religion itself is to blame. Even the Crusades… there’s just too many different reasons to JUST list religion as the reason for them.
The main problem I have with all of it is that in our country we have the right to our religious beliefs. We also have the right to NOT have religious beliefs. We also have the right to express them and I feel that neither side is particularly willing to work with the other (feel free to check out the comments on this story if you really feel like you need proof).
Religion, like politics and sex, has no place in public places. You can worship (or not) however you want in your churches, synagogues, temples, or even your living room couch… Just don’t shove it down anyone’s throat (this goes for politics and most of the time sex [unless he or she is into that]).
Have a good night and don’t mind my ramblings!
So to begin… the whole “novel in a month” thing kinda died on the vine. After restarting once a few days into the month, I gave up completely this week because I was so damn busy that I just didn’t get much of anything written. I lost a lot of momentum and topped out at about 4000 words. But I’m thinking about taking the idea I have and continuing with it after doing some reading of my favorite authors… Fante, Bukowski, and the like. But we’ll see. I may try the “novel in a month” thing in March or April, when there isn’t ten thousand things going on at work and home.
I’ve also been continuing work on my John Fante bibliography and work is… well, slow at this point. Until UCLA makes his papers available for research, I’m at a bit of an impass. I’ve got a full list of his published works, but I need some more specific information. Mainly the dimensions of the books (as well as page numbers), but I’m also interested in getting a full listing of his unpublished works as well. Fortunately… there aren’t that many. Two to three unfinished novels, a handful of uncollected or unpublished stories, etc. So I’m eagerly anticipating that trip south, whenever that will be (they still have yet to actually open the papers to the public for research).
Took this picture the other day. Quite proud of it, quite proud indeed.
In other areas, things are ok. Money is finally evening out and Wesley is going to start a new daycare at the end of the month. Work is getting busy and a bit overwhelming, but… eh, I’m glad to be working just the same.
While I’m thinking of it, have we heard about Carrie Prejean having a fit and more or less walking off Larry King? I’ve thought very little of this woman for awhile. Not because I disagree with the public statements she’s made, but how she’s reacted to the public disagreements with the public statements she’s made.
If you put yourself in the spotlight, you should be prepared for people to disagree with what you say. Especially when you’re planning on making statements you know will be controversial to a large (and increasing) group. Honestly, she’s welcome to her opinion. She also didn’t state it in an inflammatory way, which is fairly remarkable (though she’ll start soon since she has been associated with both Sean Hannity).
Of course, you can call Christian values only so long once reports of a sex tape come out. Especially when these reports are followed by reports of more sexually explicit videos and pictures. Now I’m sure we’re supposed to not pass judgment… but whatever. The woman’s an annoying twat who, unfortunately, shares my birthday. Somehow, she’s 22, but looks at least 10 years older than that. Too much time on the tanning beds, ma’am.
Hire a new publicist, or at the very least keep yourself out of the public eye. Failing that… maybe you should stick to Fox News where they won’t ask you any “inappropriate” questions.
So we are now 3 (almost 4) days into National Novel Writing Month and I’m stuck at about 2000 words. Which isn’t TERRIBLE I suppose, but technically by the end of the day today, I’m expected to be at about 5000 (50000 words for a full novel breaks down to 1666 a day).
Still, I’m writing and I’m trying. After Wesley gets off to daycare I’m going to put some Dylan on and write for a couple hours, see how that goes. I’ve got a general idea of where I’m going, but I think I’m going to take out a lot of details to change over to some other imagery. Right now… its too bizarre and I’m too far from the subject matter. But the other ideas I have can be better. I hope.
Still, I know I want to use the seasonal pollen and the changing of the leaves in Western MA as a catalyst for change. So we’ll see where that goes. Starving artist, love interest, lonely nights in a laundromat. We’ll see, we’ll see. I’ll just make another read through of Ask the Dust and copy as much of that as Fante did of Hunger (and if you haven’t read Hunger… shame on you! Hamsun may have been a Nazi sympathizer, but no one is perfect. Good art is good art regardless of political affiliation).
I also just finished The Convalescent by Jessica Anthony. If you’ve ever read magical realism (Marquez or Rushdie), or if you just plain enjoy weird, compelling protagonists… I’d recommend it. A great plot that jumps between modern day and Dark Ages Hungary (trust me, it works) and is infused with humor, mystery, and one helluva ending (that may or may not be metaphorical)… Besides, the main character is obsessed with thick thighs and round buttocks. We’d make quite a pair.
Well, there’s about 350 words I could have been putting towards my novel. At this rate, I’ll just copy and paste this into the word counter and see about inflating my count… Wouldn’t that be the most dishonest thing ever? Probably, probably…
I was talking about this at work tonight after we closed and I think it bears a full post because of the sheer ridiculous factor. After watching hours upon hours of television (and more on DVDs that have audio commentary), I’ve come to the conclusion that censors who work for major television networks are complete douchebags that have absolutely no idea what they’re doing. At the very least, they should be blasted out of a circus cannon into a concrete wall. One might also suggest they be repeatedly dropped from the top of a four story building into the path of an oncoming bus (preferably tied to Lady Gaga, but… that might be too much for anyone to have to deal with).
A fine example of uneven censorship occurs in the Futurama episode number 301, Amazon Women In The Mood. One of the act breaks ends with the phrase, “What are you, gay?” According to the audio commentary, this line was also set to appear in an earlier episode (Number 206, Lesser of Two Evils), but when the script for 301 was submitted, the censor stated they could use the line, but only once. The censor didn’t have a major issue with the line being used once (even with the possiblity of offending a growing population segment), but the repeated use of the phrase was a problem.
Another favorite example: In episode 217, War is the H-Word, the headline, “Earth Licks Balls” was turned down in favor of the much more tasteful, “Balls Throughly Licked.” A fine job, Mr. Censor. Certainly such judicious and Solomonesque wisdom has made the world a better place. Thank you.
My favorite example, however, takes place in my favorite show, The Venture Bros. At the end of season two (episode 26, Showdown at Cremation Creek Part II), The Monarch states, “I’ve had it with this dick.” In this instance, the curse word goes uncensored. OK, no big deal. The days when saying dick after 10 PM is old hat.
However… later in the same episode The Monarch tells Brock Sampson to, “Eat a dick” and in this instance… you guessed it: full censored BLEEP over the dick.
Maybe you’ve already figured out the difference, but here’s how I see it: To call someone a dick is (generally) understood to simply call them a jerk. Certainly a flashier, funnier, and more colorful way. But the basic meaning is pretty much the same as calling someone a jerk. But to tell someone to eat a dick is different. When you coyly suggest that someone eat a dick, you are actually inviting them to dine on a penis. The difference is subtle, but apparently enough to require a bleep.
Similarly, you can call someone an asshole til you’re blue in the face. But the instant you make reference to your own asshole, you’ll be bleeped. (Apparently) according to the censors, the intention of a word is what makes it offensive, not the word itself. In theory, one TV character should be able to call another a motherfucker (i.e.: a bastard), but the instant that one calls another a motherfucker in the literal sense (that is, one who fucks mothers) then the bleep will occur.
Another example given after doors closed tonight was the use of “Frack” in place of “fuck” in Battlestar Galactica (i.e.: motherfracker, a pity frack, a fracking idiot). As I have never seen an episode, I can’t speak for it directly, but it isn’t the first time I’ve heard the word referenced in relation to the show.
In the end… is it really a big deal? Well… yes, yes it is. To suggest that a word is SOMETIMES offensive, but other times perfectly acceptable doesn’t deny the word power… it instead gives it more. Either a word is bad, or it isn’t. I’ve always thought that words are only given power when people get offended by them (of course that doesn’t mean I’ll be going to Harlem and screaming nigger at the top of my lungs, any more than I’m going to head to Long Beach in a “beaner” t-shirt).
So thank you censors for consistently protecting me from words that I’m certainly not mature enough to deal with. And also thank you for making for many awkward conversations with my child later in life. You’ve probably heard that when kids curse you aren’t supposed to make a big deal about it? Well that bleep you put over the various dicks, cunts, and assholes that are on your network make it a taboo. So thank you.
Oh… and eat a *&#@ at the nearest opportunity!
As a person who works in a book store (an actual bookstore made out of wood and bricks and shit) it chaps my ass to no end that some online retailers have started cutting book prices like mad and seem like they desperately want to push paper books into a pit and drive over them with a steam roller.
This is not to say competition is a bad thing. It is a very GOOD thing for consumers pretty much all of the time. But $9 means that publishers will soon be losing money. This will lead to publishers paying authors less per book (and\or no advances) and inevitably lead to e-books. Which I hate with a passion only eclipsed by my hated for James Patterson. PATTERSON!!!!!
(side note: I don’t feel that advances are absolutely integral to the publishing process… in fact, there are many fine people working in the indie publishing scene that are working without many much or any money… and doing wonderful work. However, I’d hate for anyone to NOT write because they were afraid of going broke… of course, some would say that people shouldn’t write to get paid… I would agree… but it would be nice to get paid for doing something you love, right?)
Of course, if you can get a $9 book or a $10 e-book, most people will still choose the actual book. But how much longer will that be an option? Already the company I work for is sending people away from our stores in droves by taking 20% and more off books, CDs, and DVDs as online “promotional prices.”
Futhermore, the company has recently broken into the e-books market (items that we can’t sell in stores because of their digital nature) and also allows products purchased online to be returned in stores. All of these things are great for our customers, but for our store… not always great (especially taking back textbook purchases which get expensive). Still the main thought the company has is that… these things are great for the company. But in an economy where underperforming stores can be closed… it makes me very uncomfortable.
Still, at least the new season of Venture Bros is off to a great start.
